My life has never been very eventful until a couple of years ago. I would say that I was just as normal as everyone else. It was the cold winter month of March in 1994. In that month I was diagnosed with having cancer. At the time I was unsure of the seriousness of what was going on. I knew what cancer was and everything but it just didn't click. On television when you see someone with cancer it is kind of bleak situation. It could if I let it but I had to tell myself "Oh no, something’s wrong so now I have to get better." I didn't ask a lot of questions and pretty much shut myself off from the rest of the world. My parents told me that "Even though the situation at hand is devastating, you have to attack this head on and beat it before it beats you." That stuck in my head and till this day I remember and use that advice everyday. When this all occurred it was between sport seasons at school. I had a terrific winter track season and also wanted to have a great spring track season. Unfortunately after being in the hospital for weeks, I had barely enough strength to get around slowly. Week after week went by and things started to look better. My treatments were helping my disease, my physical strength was improving and I was in much better spirits. I missed the spring track season and the last four months of my freshman year. I wanted to make the summer the same as the years before, though it was difficult I had a really excellent time. I had fun with my friends, went places, and even started running again. When school came around in the fall I was very nervous to go. I went with knots in my stomach but everyone was very supportive. They were glad to see me and I got back into the swing of things. October came around and it was time for more scans. Once again I was nervous, but my doctor said everything would be fine. We got a call a couple of days later with the results, all the test were clear. At this point a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and he told me I was in remission. For the first time in about seven months I was able to truly relax. It was the greatest feeling in the world. I tried to get back to the way I was before the illness as quickly as I could and went on like that. Autumn came and went, now winter has arrived. Winter track started and I was esthetic to run. When I run it's like nothing can hurt me. I loose myself in the run so much that nothing matters in the whole world. I didn't win any races and help the team but, I won due to the fact that I ran and finished. At the beginning of the season I thought I would never be able to run like I previously did. I was wrong. It didn't matter if I was just as good as before, if I finished than I was a winner. I was able to finish the run but there was another objective. I knew I could make it, now I had to win the race. When Track was over I stayed in training for my first spring track season. The extra training paid off. When spring track arrived I was back to full strength. I ran in all different events and placed in most of them. By now my confidence was booming threw the roof. I was extremely proud of myself for not taking the easy way out and giving up. I wish I could say I lived happily ever after from then on but that was far from the case. In June of 1995 I was again dealt a pretty lousy hand of cards. I was called back to the Hospital and informed once more I had Cancer. Upon hearing this news I knew what was happening so it hit me very hard. I slipped into a mild case of depression for a month or two. It felt like everything I struggled to rebuild was slipping away. I had started treatment again and tried to live a halfway normal life. When I had time, I would hang out with my friends doing goofy teenage stuff. Many of the immature things my friends did that I used to enjoy, I thought was nothing but childish nonsense. I had to grow up in a hurry and leave behind most of my childhood behind. This was upsetting mostly because, you’re a short time young and a long time old." No matter how hard you try to hold onto your childhood it eventually slips away. I'm just sorry that mine slipped away in such a hurry. It's funny children and teenagers can't wait till they grow up that a lot of them don't get to enjoy what they have. Then as adults they just wish they could get those childhood years back. I started school once again only this time I was a junior. I went about my schooling as normal and tried to fit in the best way I could. Winter track rolled around again but something just was not right. I tried to run but the flame that was once burning inside to run was all burnt out. The passion was gone. I'm not sure if it was because I was too to lazy to push myself, or I just lost the feeling for it. I never did run again and till this very day I don't know if [ will ever run. Sometimes I get a jittery feeling in my legs like right before a race. That feels good and sometime I try to run but it just isn't there. I get discouraged but I have to keep on keeping on! From this point I went on like the other kids. Went for my treatments and lived a decent life. I got a job at McDonald’s so that’s how I spent my time. At the end of the school year I was invited to attend an awards ceremony. When I got the invitation to attend I was surprised I had receive one. All the same people usually get to these so when I was getting an award my spirits were lifted a little. I was hoping to get an award for one of the science or Math classes I took. Instead I received the Principals Award. The Principals Award is an award given to one person for outstanding academic excellence in all academic areas. Someone said it was the most prestigious award of the night. I received a standing ovation and a congratulations for all my hard work. For one night no other was feeling higher then I was. I was the talk of the night. Being the one in the center of attention felt great, at the same time I was extremely embarrassed. The next day everything was back to normal which was nice. My life went on as anyone's would, as much as it could. There were still some people who were still congratulating, me but that’s expected. I’ve learned a lot in the past couple of years. For one, you would never know how strong your will is until it is really tested. I've also changed in some ways. Going from a young adolescent to a young man who has lived a lot more of his life then he should of. The life I once lived is no more but the new me has just begun. Remember life is what you make of it. Watch what’s going on around your surroundings, you would be astonished at what’s being missed.
copyright 1996
|
|